The hint of football is suffering

November 30, 2014 - Picnic Time

I roughly killed my partner over a football game.

Granted, that’s a worst-case scenario. Most likely, it would’ve only been a concussion.

But that’s what she gets for descending defunct when a Oakland Raiders are on TV.

This was a prolonged time ago — like so prolonged ago that a Raiders were indeed applicable and not a generational shouting stock.

She didn’t caring about a diversion and we cared too much. So she motionless to take a nap, withdrawal me to humour in silent, bipolar bursts of fury and sorrow.

I stood in front of a TV screaming like a baby who’d had his drug ripped out his mouth and transposed with a salt lick.

On a essential fourth down, Raiders quarterback Rich Gannon threw an interception … diversion over. Without thinking, we incited and threw a remote control during a cot as tough as we could, blank my girlfriend’s conduct by reduction than an inch.

It was one of those large ol’ honkin’ concept remotes. It would’ve finished some critical cranial repairs had she not been twisted into a ball.

She slept by a whole ordeal, though did consternation since we was so good to her a rest of a day.

I’m a crazy fan — a redundancy, we comprehend — and a comparison we get a some-more we consternation about my mental health. we bottom approach too most of my intensity complacency on possibly or not my favorite sports group does well.

I’ve been an Oakland Raiders fan for 30-plus years. But a Raiders have been awful for some-more than a decade, and they’re never on TV, so when we humour since of them, we humour alone.

I’m also an Auburn fan, and they’re on TV each freakin’ week.

I don’t have adequate mainstay inches to explain all my nonsensical rituals and good fitness charms, though it’s a highlight that I’d like to do divided with. It’s like when we have a nasty cold and can’t know how there are people out in a universe smiling and selling and eating peanuts when you’re so miserable; that’s how we feel during Auburn football games.

I watch games alone. we can’t mount to be around even other Auburn fans, let alone Georgia or Alabama fans.

I don’t wish them to see how nuts we unequivocally am. Not in a dumb Jack Black kinda way, though in a “Honey, we competence wanna stay divided from a tall, bald man with a grinning orange and blue jester on his T-shirt. If Auburn doesn’t make a quip shortly he competence start stabbing people with a toothpicks for a sharp celebration weenies” way.

It’s no approach to live.

I demeanour brazen all year to 13 weeks of misery, stress, heartache, bursts of fun and fad followed by some-more stress, cussing, second-guessing and regret.

The other 9 months of a year, I’m a flattering decent, receptive person. we review books and watch movies. we pull my daughter on a pitch and share my morning Pop-Tart with my dog.

I like that guy. Football Fan Guy … that dude needs help, an involvement … a inhabitant championship.

I need something else in my life. Maybe I’ll start smoking again. Sure, cancer would suck, though a heart conflict over a fumbled punt lapse is no picnic, either. Besides, smoking is ostensible to revoke stress, since football …. Oh, who am we kidding? When we adore something enough, it’s value failing for.

War Eagle!

Contact Brett Buckner during

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